You need to stop worrying about how other people judge you.
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You need to trust that your friends will respect you for who you are. --> But they will never do that if you dont respect yourself.
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Its clear that you dont respect yourself and that is disturbing because you are poetry + music + funny + caring = worth it (and thats not the only in the L'Oreal hair dye commercial kind of way)
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If you take one thing out of your emails, take that.